Narcissists Who Need Narcissists…

HOUSTON, TX – Criminal-defense lawyer Mark Bennett has recently announced his intention to take on representation of all rich people charged with crimes in the state of Texas, effective immediately. Recognizing that the filthy rich often face an unfair bias in the courtroom, Bennett, a Houston, Texas lawyer, seeks to acquit any and all rich people wrongfully charged with serious crimes.

No, not really.

It might be nice to corner the market on wrongfully accused fat cats, and even if such a press release didn’t net me a single additional affluent person (why would it?), non-rich clients like to imagine that rich people get better representation, so I might get more clients of average means. But I wouldn’t do it because issuing a press release like that would subject me to well-deserved ridicule* as a narcissistic asshat.

Kinda like Gary Ostrow.

Does anyone believe that issuing a press release announcing that he “has firmly stated that he will take on any celebrity criminal case, regardless of the severity of the accusation” and that he “is confident that his unparalleled experience and courtroom savvy can help defend the rights and freedom of high-profile stars” will actually get him more celebrity criminal cases? Does Ostrow? I doubt it. Celebrities generally choose the lawyers their agents or managers recommend, and agents and managers, while they often choose unwisely, aren’t likely to choose a lawyer based on a self-serving press release.

Ostrow knows, though, that there is a special class of potential clients who want to believe their cases are high-profile, because they want them to be high-profile. These potential clients want to be celebrities, because they believe that celebrities get the best of everything. 

We call these potential clients “narcissists.” 

File Ostrow’s bid to get more clients under “affinity marketing.”

(Apropos of celebrity:

)

*While I’m not averse to subjecting myself to ridicule—it’s good for my ego—I try to avoid deserving it.

About Mark Bennett

Mark Bennett got his letter of marque from the Supreme Court of Texas in May 1995. He is famous for having no sense of humor when it comes to totalitarianism.
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7 Responses to Narcissists Who Need Narcissists…

  1. Turk says:

    Whichever marketeer wrote that dreadful copy should be fired. And so should anyone else that approved it.

  2. Rich Lawrence says:

    Unfortunately Mr. Ostrow is the norm here in Broward County.

    A brief history from the local blog: http://jaablog.jaablaw.com/categories/263/ostrow.aspx

    Also, he was dumb enough to walk through airport security carrying cocaine:

    http://blogs.browardpalmbeach.com/pulp/2008/05/ostrow_speaks_about_airport_co.php

    He is not shall we say, the brightest light on the circuit.

    • Mark Bennett says:

      Fascinating. What’s the story behind that blog?

      • Rich Lawrence says:

        I think it was started by a local defense attorney who felt that the Broward State Attorney’s Office was unusually harsh on petty criminals and deferential towards affluent defendants.

        Drug residue cases are pushed to the max where mostly poor, minority defendants are involved. Conversely, the Fort Lauderdale Police Chiefs wife got a few months of institutionalized care after popping off several handgun rounds at him. Most normal citizens would be doing hard time for attempted murder.

        Repeat similar scenarios for 5 or 6 years and you have the gist of it. It’s been relatively quiet lately, I think because the author & his wife have a new baby.

        I have seen him called out by other attorneys as crucifying some judges while seeming to miss the but of others and also for wasting time posting instead of working client cases.

        My fascination has been with the vitriol and juvenile behavior that comes with anonymous commenting, even from attorneys, prosecutors and maybe even some of the judges themselves. In addition, the lack of professionalism displayed by the judiciary, in various forms, is displayed in a manner that keeps me coming back in utter disbelief (see Ana Gardiner, Larry Korb & Larry Seidlin, et al).

  3. Those same clients: “if you take my case pro bono it’s gonna be all over the news. It’s gonna make you rich! You’ll be more famous than Jose Baez or Scott Greenfield!”

  4. Robb Fickman says:

    This is the kind of lawyer that makes me want to punch lawyers in the mouth. Let him stay in Florida. Asshat Esquire.

    Robb Fickman

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