HOUSTON, TX — Criminal-defense lawyer Mark Bennett has recently announced his intention to take on representation of all rich people charged with crimes in the state of Texas, effective immediately. Recognizing that the filthy rich often face an unfair bias in the courtroom, Bennett, a Houston, Texas lawyer, seeks to acquit any and all rich people wrongfully charged with serious crimes.
No, not really.
It might be nice to corner the market on wrongfully accused fat cats, and even if such a press release didn’t net me a single additional affluent person (why would it?), non-rich clients like to imagine that rich people get better representation, so I might get more clients of average means. But I wouldn’t do it because issuing a press release like that would subject me to well-deserved ridicule* as a narcissistic asshat.
Kinda like Gary Ostrow.
Does anyone believe that issuing a press release announcing that he “has firmly stated that he will take on any celebrity criminal case, regardless of the severity of the accusation” and that he “is confident that his unparalleled experience and courtroom savvy can help defend the rights and freedom of high-profile stars” will actually get him more celebrity criminal cases? Does Ostrow? I doubt it. Celebrities generally choose the lawyers their agents or managers recommend, and agents and managers, while they often choose unwisely, aren’t likely to choose a lawyer based on a self-serving press release.
Ostrow knows, though, that there is a special class of potential clients who want to believe their cases are high-profile, because they want them to be high-profile. These potential clients want to be celebrities, because they believe that celebrities get the best of everything.
We call these potential clients “narcissists.”
File Ostrow’s bid to get more clients under “affinity marketing.”
(Apropos of celebrity:
*While I’m not averse to subjecting myself to ridicule—it’s good for my ego—I try to avoid deserving it.