Defending People

the tao of criminal-defense trial lawyering

Pass the Popcorn

Let me sum up:

Jim’s client is Paul’s client’s mistress. 

Chip’s client is Paul’s client’s wife. 

Jim’s client hires a hit­man to kill Chip’s client.

After she is arrested, Jim’s Client claims that Paul’s client was in on the scheme.

The case against Paul’s client is dropped after Jim’s client, via let­ter from jail, tries to get Paul’s client whacked.

Jim’s client pleads to twenty years in prison.

Chip’s client says, ““This cor­rupt plea deal would be under­stand­able if she had not lived her adult life lying, cheat­ing, steal­ing and try­ing to kill any­one who crossed her or stood in her way,” and “I feel com­pletely betrayed by [the trial pros­e­cu­tor and the elected DA] for mak­ing this crooked deal. It is clear that this mon­ster is very unsta­ble and she should spend the rest of her exis­tence behind bars where she can­not attempt to kill any­one else.” (She pre­sum­ably refers, in that last sen­tence, to Jim’s Client and not to the elected DA.)

Jim says, “Unfor­tu­nately, [his client] has to wake up now and real­ize that each morn­ing, [Chip’s client] gets to turn her head over on a pil­low and look in to the eye of the per­son who was respon­si­ble for try­ing to get her killed. And that is some­thing she’s got to live with for a long time.”

Chip says, “I’m com­pletely offended that the dis­trict attorney’s office would sell out to this degree. Jim…threw a fit that [Paul’s Client’s] case was going to be dis­missed and [the elected DA] paci­fied [Jim] by giv­ing his client just 20 years.”

The elected DA writes a news release: “Chip…has once again demon­strated that he and the truth are strangers, and calumny is his con­stant com­pan­ion. Defama­tion spews from his lips as nat­u­rally as breathing.”

Chip responds, ““I appre­ci­ate her flow­ery lan­guage but find it extremely odd given her track record of the lies, that she would choose to recrim­i­nate me in this set­ting. I’m not at all sur­prised that she would sink to such deplorable tac­tics. It is absolutely a new low.”

Even with­out extra points for tran­si­tive use of “recrim­i­nate,” I think Chip wins this round on points: he could, depend­ing on the sit­u­a­tion, spin Lykos’s news release two ways, either of which would be good for him with poten­tial clients: “look, I do such a good job that the DA attacked me pub­licly” or (after Jan­u­ary) “look, I’m so tight with the elected DA that the last DA attacked me pub­licly.” And laugh all the way to the bank.

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About The Author

Mark Bennett got his letter of marque from the Supreme Court of Texas in May 1995. He is famous for having no sense of humor when it comes to totalitarianism.

Comments

6 Responses to “Pass the Popcorn”

  1. Robb Fickman says:

    Lykos com­ment­ing on moral­ity is down right funny. She has no moral compass.

    Is this the Same Lykos whose ” tran­si­tion team” came in and fired scores of ded­i­cated inves­ti­ga­tors and assis­tant DAs because they didn’t pass the loy­alty test? Her loy­alty test.

    Is this the Same Lykos who sent a highly respected ADA to a secret Com­mit­tee for insub­or­ni­tion for ques­tion­ing the ques­tion­able judge­ment of a Lykos insider who was in charge of
    The secret committee?

    Is this the Same Lykos who Had A sci­en­tists con­tract with the county ter­mi­nated when the sci­en­tist tes­ti­fied truth­fully for the defense?

    Is this the same Lykos who attempted to have a grand jury indict that same scientist?

    Is this the same Lykos who still employs an ADA who invoked the 5th when ques­tioned about the above-referenced scheme?

    Is this the same Lykos who has demor­al­ized an entire office of mostly good pub­lic servants?

    All the trial lawyers: Chip, Paul, Jim & Kari are good lawyers and they have all done some­thing
    Lykos has still never done. They have all tried a case, and with honor. Her honor has not.

    Robert Fick­man

    This is the sam­moral high ground long ago. That is not a reflec­tion on every ADA.
    Robb

  2. Alex Bunin says:

    Hey. “Alleged hit man.” That’s our client.

    • I believe it’s been estab­lished that she hired a hit­man to kill her boyfriend’s wife. Whether your client was that hit­man may be in ques­tion; if so, I’ll take your word for it.

  3. Alex Bunin says:

    You are cor­rect as usual.

  4. David T says:

    When I was divorc­ing, my divorce lawyer told me “For God’s sake, don’t move back into Har­ris county. Because if you do, you’ll have go thru the Har­ris County courts, and you don’t want to do that. Hey, Galve­ston courts have their prob­lems, but Stay Out of Har­ris.” Looks like it’s still true.

    But they aren’t as bad as the Har­ris County Child Pro­tec­tive Ser­vices. Arrgh.

  5. David T says:

    And as a fol­lowup com­ment about CPS, I ref­er­ence this story of a Texas dad and CPS:
    http://www.theagitator.com/2012/08/13/my-crime-i-let-my-kids-play-outside-via-free-range-kids/

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