Defending People

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Rakofsky or Roberts? Help Me Decide

In the vot­ing on Pope­hat for Cen­so­ri­ous Ass­hat Of The Year, I am torn between Thedala Magee and her lawyer Vicki Roberts, and Joseph Rakof­sky.

In any other year, Marc Stephens would be a con­tender, but what he did was, basi­cally, pre­tend to be a lawyer like Vicki Roberts or Joseph Rakof­sky. It wouldn’t be fair to Roberts or Rakof­sky to give the award to wannabe Stephens when they, Stephens’s mod­els (not to men­tion lawyers Joel Hirschhorn, Maeghan Mal­oney, Mar­tin Leaf, and Albin H. Gess) are nom­i­nees. Call me an excep­tion­al­ist, but I think this award should go to some­one who, hav­ing grad­u­ated law school and passed a bar exam, ought to know better.

Vicki Roberts and Joseph Rakof­sky both ought to know bet­ter. (Both were, at some point, licensed in New Jer­sey, as is Rachel Kugel; what is it about New Jersey?)

All Roberts did was send a demand letter—something some lawyers do, with no inten­tion of fol­low­ing up, in hopes of shak­ing a few dol­lars loose. (This is a blog post for another day, but in the days before the Inter­net lawyers could send demand let­ters to non­lawyers and assume that they wouldn’t be called out, much less punched in the vir­tual throat by Marc Ran­dazza. Roberts, a woman of a cer­tain age, is still liv­ing in those days—or was: Randazza’s pro bono response on behalf of blog­ger Amy Alkon may have edu­cated her.)

Rakofsky—of a gen­er­a­tion that should be famil­iar with the Streisand Effect, went beyond send­ing a demand let­ter; he filed a friv­o­lous law­suit and then, when the friv­o­lous law­suit wasn’t widely lauded, tried to sue crit­ics of the law­suit as well, and tried to add the cocka­mamie the­ory of “inter­net mob­bing” to his complaint.

I see Roberts’s age as a mit­i­gat­ing fac­tor, and Rakofsky’s conduct—he actu­ally filed suit; not only that, but he actu­ally filed suit against me—as highly aggra­vat­ing. Ass­hat advan­tage: Rakofsky.

Rakofsky’s court doc­u­ments read like the pro se plead­ings of crazy peo­ple and, indeed, Rakof­sky claims pub­licly that he will need psy­cho­log­i­cal treat­ment for the rest of his life. If Rakof­sky is not malin­ger­ing, his men­tal ill­ness is a mit­i­gat­ing fac­tor. I don’t think the pos­si­bil­ity of men­tal dis­ease or defect can be entirely ruled out in Roberts’s case, but the ass­hat advan­tage in this cat­e­gory is hers.

Roberts picked on a non­lawyer. Rakof­sky filed suit against lots of lawyers: lawyers who could rea­son­ably be expected to know the law and to fight back. Again, ass­hat advan­tage: Roberts.

Roberts sent her demand let­ter to try to shut down crit­i­cism of the gov­ern­ment. Rakof­sky filed suit to try to cover up his vio­la­tion of his Sixth-Amendment duty to  a client who had put his life in Rakofsky’s hands. I call that a draw.

Roberts (pre­sum­ably) got paid to be an ass­hat; Rakof­sky did it all by him­self; mit­i­ga­tion or aggra­va­tion? Make of it what you will.

So far, it’s a close call. What am I missing?

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About The Author

Mark Bennett got his letter of marque from the Supreme Court of Texas in May 1995. He is famous for having no sense of humor when it comes to totalitarianism.

Comments

33 Responses to “Rakofsky or Roberts? Help Me Decide”

  1. Robb Fickman says:

    Mark — tak­ing a mur­der case as one’s first case trumps every­thing. Twit of the year, Robb

  2. Charles B. "Brad" Frye says:

    And in the event of a tie? Old school — Ladies’ Advan­tage? New School — Most Cojones? Still a tie. How about — most trees killed or most band­width wasted? Crap. This is more dif­fi­cult than I anticipated.

  3. Thomas Stephenson says:

    I thought an unsus­pect­ing mur­der defendant’s fam­ily paid Rakof­sky $10,000. That was part of his ass­hat­tery, wasn’t it?

  4. Miranda Meador says:

    Roberts is on there with Magee, so you’re get­ting a 2-for-1 with them. You dis­cussed Roberts so I’ll address Magee. Magee is not a lawyer, but she’s an egre­gious ass­hat any­way. She does a despi­ca­ble job harass­ing inno­cent Amer­i­cans and sex­u­ally assault­ing air trav­el­ers. When called out, she tried to intim­i­date Alkon. Let’s see, she’s tram­pled on the 4th Amend­ment and tried like hell to tram­ple on the 1st. Sex­ual assault, search with­out p.c., being a gov­ern­ment lackey, being a liti­gious pis­sant, threat­en­ing suit if oth­ers don’t kow­tow to TSA. Plus, she’s got a major gov­ern­ment bureau­cracy back­ing her up. That does it for me.

    • Mark Bennett says:

      Thedala Magee unques­tion­ably deserves all of the cen­sure she’s received and more. But the com­pe­ti­tion is not sim­ply for ass­hat of the year, but cen­so­ri­ous ass­hat of the year. She had no rea­son to know that Alkon’s post was not action­able; Roberts did.

      • Miranda Meador says:

        Then I think we should con­sider Magee’s cen­so­ri­ous con­duct which started the whole mess. The TSA pro­ce­dure of grop­ing and fondling is cen­so­ri­ous itself because it’s used on peo­ple who refused to be scanned. It’s used to pun­ish peo­ple for not com­ply­ing and the degree of assault gets worse the more you protest. Men­tion the 4th Amend­ment or tell them to not get so handsy — or in this case sob as loudly as pos­si­ble — and up the labia the hands go. It’s government-sanctioned sex­ual assault used as a weapon to tamp down protest.

  5. Michael Chelvam says:

    Maybe I’m miss­ing some­thing, but isn’t Magee, as despi­ca­ble as she may be, still enti­tled to legal rep­re­sen­ta­tion? These crit­i­cisms of Vicki Roberts for rep­re­sent­ing her sound very sim­i­lar to the puri­tan­i­cal recrim­i­na­tions that are directed towards me when I tell peo­ple I prac­tice crim­i­nal law. “You rep­re­sent THOSE peo­ple?“
    I don’t think it mat­ters that one sce­nario is crim­i­nal and the other is civil: access to the courts is nec­es­sary in a democ­racy, and most peo­ple need the assis­tance of lawyers to do that.

    • Ken says:

      If I decide to sue you because this com­ment hurt my feel­ings, and find a lawyer to do it, should that lawyer’s choice to pur­sue the case be spared crit­i­cism on the grounds that every­one is enti­tled to representation?

      We crim­i­nal lawyers are not required to make any eval­u­a­tion of whether a client “deserves” to be defended. We have an oblig­a­tion not to sub­orn per­jury or make patently friv­o­lous argu­ments (except the ulti­mate argu­ment to the jury that the evi­dence is insuf­fi­cient, which is never friv­o­lous), but that’s it.

      By con­trast, civil attor­neys have an oblig­a­tion not to pur­sue trans­par­ently bogus or unlaw­ful claims.

      • Michael Chelvam says:

        Yes, and there is an effec­tive rem­edy for when civil lawyers vio­late that oblig­a­tion: attorney’s fees and costs.

        I am famil­iar with Ms. Roberts by rep­u­ta­tion and have seen some of her work. For what my opinon is worth and know­ing as lit­tle as I do about the under­ly­ing facts here, Ms. Roberts gets the ben­e­fit of the doubt in my eyes.

        • Ken says:

          How many cases have you seen where friv­o­lous suits actu­ally led to the award of fees and costs?

          The fact that there is a the­o­ret­i­cal mech­a­nism for address­ing friv­o­lous suits does not mean that lawyers who threaten them should be spared criticism.

          Again: if I decide to sue you for dis­agree­ing with me here and hurt­ing my feel­ings, should my lawyer be spared from crit­i­cism because every­one gets a lawyer under our system?

          • Michael Chelvam says:

            You are right, awards of fees and costs are rare, but I think that reflects the fact that judges rec­og­nize the real­ity of how hard it is deter­mine what a lawyer knew or did not know before com­menc­ing ltigation.

            Yes, you and I are free to crit­i­cize Ms. Roberts for her rep­re­sen­ta­tion of Magee. How­ever, I choose not to do so, because I real­ize how lit­tle I know of this matter.

            If you were to sue me for my com­ments above, I think I would get a pretty quick judg­ment on the plead­ings. If I got some fees and expenses out of you, I would use it to take a nice vaca­tion to Hawaii!

            • Ken says:

              Yes. It’s per­fectly ratio­nal to refrain from crit­i­cism when you haven’t read up on the matter.

              Per­haps it is slightly less ratio­nal, when you have delib­er­ately refrained from read­ing up on the mat­ter, to say that crit­ics are like peo­ple who attack crim­i­nal defense lawyers.

              • Michael Chelvam says:

                Ken, we were hav­ing such a nice schol­arly debate, I hate to see it has veered into the ad hominem.

                You are right, I have not read every­thing this to read on this mat­ter. I frankly don’t have the time or the inter­est to do so. At any rate, noth­ing that has been said about it is under oath, so I don’t think any of it deserves all that much weight anyway.

                I think the truly wise man is the one who real­izes just how lit­tle he knows, that’s all.

        • Mark Bennett says:

          We’ve hashed this out here before. The sanc­tions pro­vided by the sys­tem are not effec­tive. Roberts’s extor­tion attempt, for exam­ple, is nei­ther sanc­tion­able or griev­able. The best weapon against lawyer mis­con­duct is the spotlight.

          • Michael Chelvam says:

            And by “spot­light” do you mean “witch trial”? Because that is sure what it sounds like to me.

            As the self-respecting post-modernist that I am, I absolutely reject your attempt to con­trol the terms of dis­course by defin­ing “ad hominem”. The eng­lish lan­guage exists inde­pen­dently of you.

            As the self-respecting Freudian that I am, I think…well, I bet­ter not go there.

            • Ken says:

              Yes. Yes, exactly. Because that’s what they did at the witch tri­als. They crit­i­cized them. “I crit­i­cize Goody Flan­ders!” Like that. It was bru­tal. That’s part of the cul­tural her­itage that led to the Con­sti­tu­tion, the Bill of Rights, and the core con­cept of our polity that nobody can be crit­i­cized with­out due process of law.

            • Mark Bennett says:

              If words mean what­ever you say they mean, unteth­ered from gram­mar, logic, and his­tory, then you get to pre­tend to always be right.

              How self-affirming for you!

              But I do, in fact, con­trol the terms of dis­course here, and these com­ment pages don’t exist for your self-affirmation. So please try to restrain your post­mod­ernism and behave like the com­mu­ni­ca­tor that a lawyer is sup­posed to be.

              Because there’s no point argu­ing with Humpty Dumpty.

              (Orthog­o­nally: You know who else thinks he gets to decide what words mean what he says they mean? Joseph Rakof­sky, that’s who.)

          • Tanner Andrews says:

            mb-) Roberts’s extor­tion attempt, for exam­ple, is nei­ther
            mb-) sanc­tion­able [nor] grievable

            You are cor­rect. But it is, to a small and expen­sive extent pun­ish­able: the threat­ened per­son may elect to bring a dec action, in their own state; I think the ele­ments are met with Roberts’ threat­en­ing letter.

            I don’t know of any clear way, in Florida, that you’d get fees, but you would at least have vin­di­ca­tion and they’d have to come to your county instead of you hav­ing to go to theirs.

  6. Dean DuPont says:

    Magee/Roberts got my vote. While this may be the arro­gance of igno­rance, I’ve always had the impres­sion that I could defend myself pro se against Rakof­sky for “inter­net mob­bing” armed with lit­tle more than a few hours at a pub­lic library and some advice from my (career para­le­gal) mom. In gam­ing par­lance, he’s a ‘squeaker’: an imma­ture player who makes loads of pro­fane noise to cover up his/her incompetence.

    • Mark Bennett says:

      Dean, in order to defend your­self pro se against Rakof­sky, you’d have to file an answer in New York, then file a motion to dis­miss in New York, then appear to argue the motion to dis­miss in New York, all the while deal­ing with a pro se lit­i­gant on the other side.

      To defend your­self against Roberts, you’d only have to dis­card her demand letter.

  7. I’d vote for Robertof­sky or Rakofberts.

  8. Alex Bunin says:

    Don’t these “rules” you seek to impose upon me at least require your recusal on vot­ing upon the Rafosky litigation.

  9. Alex Bunin says:

    I also changed some spelling to avoid becom­ing a party.

  10. Legal Baby says:

    Roberts due to greater degree of mens rea :) .

    Rakof­sky may have been a cen­so­ri­ous twat but he was pretty fresh out of law school and he gen­uinely seems deluded that he might get some­where with his action.

    Roberts knew fine well that she was on a road to nowhere unless her vic­tim was legally clue­less and did not con­sult an attor­ney who had at least read a First Amend­ment case (which is prob­a­bly what Roberts was hoping).

  11. Mike Trent says:

    Can I write in Joe Amendola?

  12. shg says:

    I saw no point in wad­ing into this morass as the out­come of the vote was a fore­goine con­clu­sion. It had lit­tle to do with who was more cen­so­ri­ous, as all the nom­i­nees were suf­fi­ciently cen­so­ri­ous in their own right to deserve recognition.

    Rather, it’s about the future. Which of these nom­i­nees five years from now, ten, even twenty, will stand as a bea­con of cen­so­ri­ous ass­hat­tery? Who’s name will imme­di­ately evoke lulz from peo­ple not yet born? Who will emerge as the lawyerly equiv­a­lent of Streisand?

    There could only be one among the many, who will for­ever remain in our hearts and minds as the young lawyer who sued the inter­net. He was des­tined to win, and so he
    has.

    Amen.

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