Defending People

the tao of criminal-defense trial lawyering

FBI:">Dear FBI:

If you want to be taken seri­ously, please give your agents some guid­ance on what is not a professional-looking busi­ness card. When­ever a poten­tial client comes to me with some­thing like this …

 …my first thought is, “he’s being scammed by some­one pre­tend­ing to be an FBI agent.”

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About The Author

Mark Bennett got his letter of marque from the Supreme Court of Texas in May 1995. He is famous for having no sense of humor when it comes to totalitarianism.

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4 Responses to “Dear FBI:”

  1. Does the back say “Get your free busi­ness cards at vistaprint.com”?

  2. being scammed by some­one pre­tend­ing to be an FBI agent”

    That’s bet­ter than being scammed by an actual FBI agent.

  3. Mike Trent says:

    I recently encoun­tered another fed­eral agent who did not even have busi­ness cards. She told me that her agency would not pay for them, and there­fore she did not have one for me. This is pathetic. If they are going to be cheap, the least they could do is give their employ­ees an approved tem­plate or ven­dor through which to pur­chase them. I wouldn’t have believed that card pic­tured, either. Times are tough indeed!

  4. Larry Standley says:

    Well, in addi­tion to the whole C.S.I. T.V. Phe­nom­e­non vs. Real­ity, NOW cer­tainly the “One Wit­ness Rule” will be even harder to qual­ify prospec­tive jurors on: IE: ” Member’s of the Jury panel, in a hypo­thet­i­cal crim­i­nal trial whereby you are an actual juror, before you could be fair, how many of you would LIKE to see pre­sented to you as evi­dence: 1) A Cam­era con­tin­u­ously film­ing the entire alleged inci­dent from begin­ning to end with 360 degree infrared satel­lite capa­bil­ity? 2) D.N.A.?; 3) Fin­ger­prints; 4) 4 people/witnesses — with no prior crim­i­nal his­tory — film­ing the entire alleged inci­dent from begin­ning to end from each cor­ner of the alleged inci­dent with night vision cam­eras? 5) Con­trary to the 5th Amend­ment pro­tec­tions afforded the defen­dant — want to (of course be open minded) and hear and even require the defen­dant to tes­tify? 6) Require the defen­dant to have a cam­era film­ing his/he4r every move from sun-up to sun-down of the date of the alleged inci­dent? AND last 7) Require the Spe­cial Agents of the Fed­eral Bureau of Inves­ti­ga­tion and or Drug Enforce­ment Divi­sion of the Fe3deral Gov­ern­ment to have at least dot matrix per­fo­rated floppy busi­ness cards?

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