Defending People

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Because “Sue” Was Already Taken


The father of 3-year-old Adolf Hitler Camp­bell, denied a birth­day cake with the child’s full name on it by one New Jer­sey super­mar­ket, is ask­ing for a lit­tle tol­er­ance. The fam­ily was even­tu­ally able to get a cake from Wal-Mart. Adolph’s lit­tle sis­ter, Joyce­lynn Aryan Nation Camp­bell, doesn’t see what the fuss is about.

(I wish I could make up mate­r­ial like this.)

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About The Author

Mark Bennett got his letter of marque from the Supreme Court of Texas in May 1995. He is famous for having no sense of humor when it comes to totalitarianism.

Comments

9 Responses to “Because “Sue” Was Already Taken”

  1. The thought­less­ness of some par­ents amazes me — like the ones who named the kid so that it would be pro­nounced, sup­pos­edly, “Ah-show-lay”, spelled “Ass­hole”; or “Ahbesi­day” (“Abcde”). And I’ve met Tom Sawyer and Stan Francisco.

  2. mhoram says:

    I know a woman named Candy Cot­ton. And of course there is the famous case of Lemon­jello and Orangejello.

    But Adolf Hiltler and Aryan Nation? How can even a seri­ous hard-core white suprema­cist think these names are going to be help­ful dur­ing his kids’ lives?

  3. Y says:

    Geez. Some par­ents.
    It reminds me of Freako­nom­ics, by Steven Lewitt and Stephen Dub­ner, where they tell of another set of ques­tion­able par­ents who named one son Loser, and another son Win­ner. Well, Loser was suc­cess­ful and Win­ner was a loser. So there’s hope yet. Maybe lit­tle Adolf will grow up to have a life-long call­ing to oblit­er­ate racism and hatred.

    A friend of mine told me that he had a bad father, and for years he felt that he didn’t learn any­thing from him. But then some­one pointed out to him that my friend prob­a­bly learned a lot from his dad; namely, how impor­tant fathers are and how NOT to behave. And my friend is now an excep­tional father.

  4. Michael says:

    For the longest time, there was a list­ing for one ENAUDER TITZOFF in the Austin phone book. (You remem­ber phone books, right?)

  5. BRIAN TANNEBAUM says:

    I didn’t get a cake for my third birth­day and my par­ents told me the same thing — they wouldn’t write “Brian Tan­nebaum” on the cake. I always thought they were mak­ing it up.

  6. Dennis Elias says:

    The dad’s a dolt. He pushes his hate in the face of his kid and will leave the kid to fend off other’s repul­sion and rejec­tion for the rest of his life. 5 will get you 10 the kids changes his name to Bob.

  7. Martha says:

    Just countin’ the days until I turn 18 and I can legally change this ridicu­lous name.

  8. Martha says:

    Mwaa­ha­haaa! It’s MY stu­dio and I AM the advo­cate and there is only one of me, except when I am expe­ri­enc­ing mul­ti­ple per­son­al­ity disorder.

    But I am more than happy to join the Con­fed­er­acy of Dunces. Is it like a Ship of Fools?

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