Robert S. Bennett (Absolutely No Relation)

I’ve written about Robert S. Bennett from time to time, and I’m not impressed by him. But neither was I impressed with the State Bar’s effort to disbar him, which effort succeeded in March. Robert S. Bennett was barred:

from practicing law in Texas, holding himself out as an attorney at law, performing any legal services for others, accepting any fee directly or indirectly for legal services, appearing as counsel or in any representative capacity in any proceeding in any Texas court or before any administrative body or holding himself out to others or using his name, in any manner, in conjunction with the words ‘attorney at law,’ ‘attorney,’ ‘counselor at law,’ or ‘lawyer,'”

So what’s Robert S. Bennett doing now? He’s “President” of “Bob Bennett Licensing Services.” In his LinkedIn page he categorizes the company as “legal services” (which would violate the court’s order):

"Legal Services"
Robert S. Bennett’s LinkedIn Header 9/5/14

In the description of “Bob Bennett Licensing Services for Professionals,” Bennett writes:

Mr. Bennett is the owner of Bob Bennett Licensing Services for Professionals. The licensing counselors in this licensing service are especially proficient in cases involving, matters before the Office of Chief Disciplinary Counsel, the Texas Medical Board, the State Board of Law Examiners, and other Boards involving professionals and DTPA violations, ethics defense, and white-collar criminal defense involving licensing issues.

The Bob Bennett Licensing Services for Professionals concentrates on representing attorneys, doctors, judges, and other professionals who have professional licensing issues and find themselves the subject of federal and state investigations. This includes representation of both law students and medical students who have run afoul of the Texas Board of Law Examiners or Texas Medical Board. Medical students and doctors who have issues with the United States Medical Licensing Examination, the National Board of Medical Examiners, or the Federation of State Medical Boards have retained Bennett Licensing. Whether the matter involves a grievance hearing before the Texas Office of Chief Disciplinary Counsel or a privilege hearing before a hospital committee, this Texas Licesning entity is known for aggressive representation and success. See client reviews and peer recommendations:

Specialties: Representing law students and lawyers with licensing issues before the Board of law Examiners or cases with the Office of Chief Disciplinary Counsel or before the Texas Board of Medicine or other professional boards that license professionals.

This sounds a lot like practicing law to me (which, as well as being a crime, would violate the court’s order). “Representing law students and lawyers with licensing issues before the Board of law Examiners” is certainly “appearing … in any representative capacity in any proceeding … before any administrative body,” which is interdicted by the order of disbarment.

Here’s what RSB’s website for Bob Bennett Licensing Services says in its small-print “DISCLAIMER AND NOTICER [sic] REGARDING MR. BENNETT’S LEGAL BACKGROUND”:

While in law school, Mr. Bennett served as an intern in the Harris County District Attorney’s Office and the United States Attorney’s office.  Upon graduation, both law enforcement agencies offered  him positions. He was a licensed attorney, former Assistant United States Attorney and was Board Certified. At the present time he  is not a licensed attorney. His history of representing and working on licensing issues goes back to 1974 when he was hired  by the Interstate Commerce Commission as an enforcement attorney to review licenses and permits in the transportation industry. As you can tell from his site, 165 former clients have used his services and over 41 attorneys have provided peer reviews of his licensing work. Since he is presently not a licensed attorney, he cannot provide legal advice but having worked nearly forty years with every imaginable professional license, he can  advise you about any business decisions concerning your license issue  and  if your fact situation is one that  you should have an attorney assist you or not. It may be that you license  concern or do to the  simplicity of the licensing  issue, your licensing issue  can be handled without hiring an attorney. Every licensing issue does not require the assistance of an attorney, but if you decide it does, Mr. Bennett is extremely well qualified to help you with your business decision ( at a price that is not lawyerly!) and provide recommendations as to the best attorney to handle your case. .  An example of this decision process may be helpful. Staff members with the  Texas Board of Law Examiners as a matter of course would tell applicants they did not need to hire an attorney. In some instances that was correct and in others it was disastrous. With years of experience with business decisions about your application or license, Mr. Bennett may be able to save you thousands of dollars, and the first phone call is free.

What he describes on LinkedIn as “legal services” here becomes “help[ing] you with your business decision.” By calling them “business decisions,” I imagine that he thinks he’s shielding himself from a) contempt charges; b) an unauthorized-practice-of-law suit; and c) another grievance (should he get his license back) for UPL.

Protip: whether it is practicing law or not does not depend on what you call it. According to Section 81.101(a) of the Texas Government Code,

In this chapter the “practice of law” means … a service rendered out of court, including the giving of advice … requiring the use of legal skill or knowledge….

Advising people on “handling licensing issues” is giving legal advice. “You’d better talk to a lawyer” might not be legal advice, but “you don’t need a lawyer” damn sure is. Making “business decisions” of this sort requires legal skill and knowledge.

In fact, the experience that Robert S. Bennett describes to explain his qualifications is all legal experience: law school, prosecutor intern, licensed attorney, AUSA, board certified, enforcement attorney, etc. If you eliminated his legal experience, there would be no experience left:

At the present time he  is not a licensed attorney. Since he is presently not a licensed attorney, he cannot provide legal advice but he can  advise you about any business decisions concerning your license issue  and  if your fact situation is one that  you should have an attorney assist you or not. It may be that you license concern or do to the  simplicity of the licensing  issue, your licensing issue can be handled without hiring an attorney. Every licensing issue does not require the assistance of an attorney, but if you decide it does, Mr. Bennett is extremely well qualified to help you with your business decision (at a price that is not lawyerly!) and provide recommendations as to the best attorney to handle your case. An example of this decision process may be helpful. Staff members with the  Texas Board of Law Examiners as a matter of course would tell applicants they did not need to hire an attorney. In some instances that was correct and in others it was disastrous. Mr. Bennett may be able to save you thousands of dollars, and the first phone call is free.

There is a sucker for every charlatan, but I have to wonder: if a law student has such horrible judgment that he would pay a disbarred lawyer for advice on how to get licensed, shouldn’t that law student be, ipso facto, barred from practicing law?

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¡Justice, Sí, Safety, No!


Harris County District Judge Katherine Cabaniss’s email pleading for votes in the popularity contest that is the Houston Bar Association’s Judicial Preference Poll (via Robb Fickman, who I hope will have something to say about it when he’s out of trial) is right across the SWRVs’1 home plate:

Dear Fellow HBA Member,

The Houston Bar Association’s Judicial Preference Poll will be released on Monday, September 8. I am asking for your vote.

In the HBA poll released earlier this year, I was voted either “Well Qualified” or “Qualified” by almost 87% of respondents.

I was a prosecutor for more than 11 years in Houston. I also served as Crime Stopper’s Executive Director for 6 years. Since being appointed by Governor Perry in 2013, I have worked to see that justice is done in every single case, every single day, in my courtroom.

It is the election season, and I need your help to keep Harris County safe.

Please take a moment to complete the HBA poll before the deadline, September 29. I would be honored to receive your vote. Additionally, please let a friend know about the poll, and ask them to vote as well.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Katherine Cabaniss
Judge, 248th Criminal District Court

pd pol ad • Katherine Cabaniss Campaign

A judge’s job is not to “keep Harris County safe.” The safer we are, the less free we are, and vice versa. The prosecution’s job is to keep us safe, the defense’s job is to keep us free, and the judge’s job is to call the balls and strikes. A felony judge promising to “keep Harris County safe” is dangerously close to violating Canon 5(1) of the Texas Code of Judicial Conduct:

A judge or judicial candidate shall not make pledges or promises of conduct in office regarding pending or impending cases, specific classes of cases, specific classes of litigants, or specific propositions of law that would suggest to a reasonable person that the judge is predisposed to a probable decision in cases within the scope of the pledge….

A judge’s job is to protect everyone from the fears and prejudices of the majority. Unfortunately, judicial elections buy us judges who pander to those fears and prejudices. And as long as more Republicans vote than Democrats, the SWRVs—right-wing authoritarians to a man—will dominate and those fears and prejudices will be those of the meanest and most frightened among us.

(This should not be read as an endorsement of Cabaniss’s opponent, for it is certainly not.)


  1. Scared White Republican Voters’. 

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Free to Be Stupid

You think it’s insane that Arizona allows a 9-year-old to shoot at a firing range? ABC News reports that one in Texas allows them to do so at age 6.

-Leonard Pitts, Jr.

So we make the leap from dumbass puts fully automatic pistol in hands of little girl, winds up dead to it is insane to allow children to shoot at shooting ranges

A well-run shooting range is one of the safest places in America. The rules, which when followed provide no opportunity for firearms accidents, are strictly enforced. If the question is, “should my child learn to shoot at the range, or somewhere else?”, “the range” is the right answer.

So then the question becomes, “should my child learn to shoot?” In a society in which children might come in contact with guns without parental supervision (for example, at a friend’s house where the parents have an unsecured gun), “yes” is the right answer. Guns are fascinating to children—especially to little boys—and firearms education demystifies them and teaches the proper respect. The alternative is to teach children to “just say no” to guns; we have seen how well that works with drugs and sex.

So then the question becomes, “should we have a society in which children might come in contact with guns without parental supervision.” Pitts and the choir to which he preaches think the answer is no: only the government can be trusted with guns. Pitts asks:

What kind of shooting range allows a prepubescent girl1 to fire an Uzi? What kind of instructor does not guard against recoil when a child is handling such a powerful weapon? What kind of parents think it’s a good idea to put a submachine gun in their 9-year-old’s hands? And what kind of idiot country does not prohibit such things by law?

These are all good questions, and not at all difficult. Here are the answers:

  • Careless;
  • Incompetent;
  • Ignorant; and
  • Free.

  1. Why “girl” instead of “child”? -MB 

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On Twitter, Be Your Own Censor.

When I saw this Polygon post last month, about how Twitter “gives so little attention to the now-routine harassment experienced by so many members of the service” because “it drives engagement,” I thought, “surely there’s a market solution”:

The three proposed tools were allowing a user to block all users whose accounts are less than 30 days old, allowing a user to block all users whose follow counts are less than some threshold, and allowing a user to block any user who has been blocked by more than N people she is following. The proposed tools came from this post, titled, “The least Twitter can do.”

Today I saw a Slate post from the beginning of August (a week after the “harassment drives engagement” post) discussing three free-market solutions to the problem of Twitter harassment: Block Together (an app that “allows users to ‘share their list of blocked users with friends’ and, if they like, ‘auto-block new users who at-reply them.’), Flaminga (which “helps Twitter users conspire to create secret mute lists they can share with one another to silence users they don’t want to hear”), and the Block Bot (which that identifies Twitter’s “anti-feminist obsessives”…).

Problem solved, right?

Not so fast.

These apps won’t actually inspire Twitter to shut down the serial abusers who use their Twitter accounts to harass and threaten women. They won’t help attract serious legal attention to their crimes. And they won’t compel Twitter to instruct its brilliant developers to imagine new sitewide solutions for the problem, or else lend its considerable resources toward educating government officials and law enforcement officers about the abuses its users are suffering on its network.

Twitter provides a communication channel. It is a channel and a metaphor that didn’t exist nine years ago, and it is free. Twitter’s users give it nothing but their attention. Twitter owes its users nothing.

Twitter could “instruct its brilliant developers to imagine new sitewide solutions for the problem, or else lend its considerable resources toward educating government officials and law enforcement officers about the abuses its users are suffering on its network,” there would be nothing wrong with that.

On the other hand, Twitter could explicitly market itself as a place to abuse and be abused by others; it could even rig its API so that free-market solutions would be impossible. There would be nothing wrong with that either (and, sadly, plenty of people would sign up).

Twitter is a business. It exists for profit. If shutting down serial abusers were cost-effective it would do it. Twitter users could theoretically make it cost-effective for Twitter to shut down serial abusers by boycotting Twitter, but that’s not going to happen. There’s no viable alternative, and besides, where would you go to organize a boycott of Twitter?

If actively encouraging abuse and making it impossible for third parties to reduce the abuse that users saw were cost-effective, it would do that instead. It’ll never be cost-effective because, contrary to the suggestion in the July Polygon post I quoted first, Twitter will get more of its users’ attention if those who don’t want to be abused are able to customize their experience to reduce the abuse they see.

What Twitter has done is somewhere in between. It provides the channel, and it allows developers to build things like Block Together, Flaminga, and The Block Bot, but it hasn’t poured money into protecting users from abuse. Even when it isn’t cost-effective to shut down serial abusers, it’s cost-effective to allow developers to create tools to allow a user to eliminate abusers from her timeline.

(Here’s how Twitter works: if Althea and Bartimus have Twitter accounts (@A, @B), each can choose to follow or block the other. If @A is following @B, @A will see everything @B says on Twitter. If @A blocks @B, @A will see nothing that @B says on Twitter. If @A neither follows nor blocks @B, then @A will see only what @B says mentioning @A. If Carla creates an account (@C) and tweets “@A [something abusive],” @A will see it unless she is using some third-party solution (for example, blocking new accounts or accounts with few followers).)Twitter’s solution, which decentralizes control over users’ timelines to those users, is not good enough for the authors of the Slate and Polygon posts. It’s not good enough that @A has third-party options for keeping @C from contacting her; Twitter must keep @C off the channel, or at least spend more of its money trying to do so.The notion that the provider of the channel, Twitter, should police the content on the channel has appeal, I guess, to those who are convinced that those running Twitter will always share their own ideological orthodoxy. But leaving the channel wide-open and letting users, via third-party software, choose what they will and won’t be exposed to is the better option for anyone who can even imagine some day being politically incorrect.1


  1. Though that particular horse has left the barn

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Texas Criminal First Amendment Action

Here’s a survey of what’s going on in Texas with regard to the First Amendment in criminal cases:

Texas Penal Code Section 33.021(b) (online solicitation by explicit communication) was held unconstitutional by the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals in Ex Parte Lo. In Ex Parte Chance the Court of Criminal Appeals granted relief on habeas to someone who hadn’t raised the unconstitutionality of the statute either in the trial court or on direct appeal. Concurring, Judge Cochran stated that the petitioner was actually innocent (not argued by the petitioner). Dissenting, Judge Keller suggested that the issues presented should have been briefed and more carefully considered.
Pending issues include whether a person convicted only of violating a void statute is actually innocent, so that he is (if he went to prison) entitled to compensation for his wrongful conviction; and whether a 33.021(b) conviction should be reversed on direct appeal where the unconstitutionality of the statute was not raised in the trial court.I have the former issue (innocence) in two article 11.07 postconviction writs, out of Montgomery County and Harris County. The State has agreed to relief, and agreed to innocence. We’ll see what the Court of Criminal Appeals does.Nic Hughes of the Harris County PD’s Office and I have won the latter issue (unconstitutionality raised for the first time on direct appeal after the statute has been invalidated in another case) in intermediate courts of appeals (Schuster in the First, and Sanders in the Sixth, respectively). Gerald Bourque of the Woodlands has it before the Court of Criminal Appeals in Smith v. State. Argument will probably be this fall; I’ll watch and report back.

Texas Penal Code Section 33.021(c) (online solicitation, but not really) has been upheld by various intermediate courts of appeals, but the challenge has not yet reached the Court of Criminal Appeals. Various cases are pending in trial courts, and Butch Bradt of Houston has petitioned the Court of Criminal Appeals for discretionary review in Ex Parte Victorick out of the Beaumont Court of Appeals. If that is denied, I have several pretrial writs pending on the issue in Montgomery County and Austin County; I expect that we’ll have to take them up to the CCA.

Section 36.03 of the Texas Penal Code (Coercion of a Public Servant) has been challenged by habeas (PDF) in Rick Perry’s case. The statute is as stinky as can be—”coercion” includes a threat “to expose a person to hatred, contempt, or ridicule,” so if you threaten to make fun of your congresswoman if she doesn’t vote the way you want you are committing a crime—and I don’t think it’s going to stand up to David Botsford’s attack in the Perry case. Whether it dies as written (because of stinkiness) or as applied is, I think, the open question.1

Texas Penal Code Section 21.15 (Improper Photography (taking pictures)) is under challenge in the Court of Criminal Appeals in Ex Parte Thompson. I watched the arguments in May. We should see an opinion this fall. If the statute is held unconstitutional, then all of Section 21.15 (including the publishing pictures portion) goes down. If the statute is upheld (for example, because of the State’s silly argument that everyone appearing in public “consents” to being photographed), then…

Texas Penal Code Section 21.15 (Improper Photography (publishing pictures)) is still vulnerable to First Amendment attack. I have a pretrial habeas on hold in the 208th District Court; if the petitioner wins Ex Parte Thompson, we win. If the petitioner loses Ex Parte Thompson, Judge Collins gets to rule on my writ and the loser gets to appeal.

Texas Penal Code Section 33.07(a) (Online Impersonation (using the name of another person online to harm him)) is not being defended by the Harris County DA’s Office. I’ve filed two pretrial writs attacking that statute, and the State has dismissed the prosecutions in both cases, to refile under two other statutes. I’m hoping someone will bring me in on a case in a county where the DA is interested in defending the constitutionality of penal statutes.

In one case the State went from Online Impersonation to Fraudulent Use or Possession of Identifying Information under Texas Penal Code Section 32.51. That statute forbids “using” someone’s name with the intent to “harm” him; the terms in quotes are not narrowly defined, so if I call you by name and insult or embarrass you (“harming” you) I am committing a felony. I filed a writ in the 177th District Court attacking this statute; Judge Patrick foolishly denied relief,2 and I filed notice of appeal. I’ve also filed writs in other courts challenging the constitutionality of the Fraudulent Use or Possession of Identifying Information statute. I’ll keep you posted.

In another case the State went from Texas Penal Code Section 33.07(a) (a felony) to Section 33.07(b) (Online Impersonation (sending an email or similar communication using someone else’s name to trick someone and harm someone else), a misdemeanor). They have some pleading problems, but if they are able to sort those out we’ll file a writ and it’ll go up on appeal.

In Ector County (Odessa, Texas) I have filed a pretrial writ challenging the constitutionality of Texas Penal Code Section 21.12(a)(3) (Improper Relationship Between Educator and Student), which incorporates Section 33.021. Among other arguments, the incorporation of an unconstitutional statute invalidates Section 21.12(a)(3).

  1. As an aside, while everyone else seems to agree that Perry is charged with two felonies, Count II looks like a misdemeanor accusation to me—coercion of a public servant is a felony only if the coercion is a threat to commit a felony, and the State has neither alleged that the coercion was a threat to commit a felony, nor alleged the coercion in terms that would put a defendant on notice that the State believes it to be a felony…

    threatening to veto legislation that had been approved and authorized by the Legislature of the State of Texas to provide funding for the continued operation of the Public Integrity Unit of the Travis County District Attorney’s Office unless Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg resigned from her official position as elected District Attorney. 

  2. Oops! Felony! 

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The Psychology of Expensive Paper

I use 28-pound printer paper for my pleadings. Have done for years. Judges and prosecutors often notice the paper: it’s heavy, stiff, and smooth. It also costs almost four times times as much as cheap paper (2.3 cents, vs. 0.64 cents per page), which can add up; my justification for using it has been that the things I’m filing with the court are important, so they should look and feel important (I put some effort and money into typography as well).

Yesterday Sarah “Bennett’s Former Brain” Wood sent me a link to a Psychology Today post that supports that justification:

New research…shows that the weight, texture, and hardness of the things we touch are, in fact, unconsciously factored into our decisions about things that have nothing to do with what we are touching. Potentially, every decision we make.

* * * * *

[W]hen we hold something heavy, we actually see seriousness and importance in people and issues that we might not otherwise.

* * * * *

As with weight and texture, hardness exerts an influence on our perceptions and behavior. People who had earlier examined a hard piece of wood later judged an employee interacting with his boss as more rigid and strict than did people who had first examined a soft blanket.

The bad news for Bennett’s pleadings, though:

In another study, feeling roughness led participants to negotiate poorly, offering their counterparts better deals than people who’d held smooth things did—because they saw the bargaining task as more difficult.

I may have to start printing prosecutors’ copies of my motions on sandpaper. Judges will still be getting the good stuff.

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Victimocracy Because Reasons

In There’s No “Ick” in Victim, in which she lauds victims for speaking up, Brooklyn lawyer1 C.A. Goldberg turns her truly dizzying intellect my way:

Then you have the George Wills and Mark Bennetts of the world who argue that society is victimized by victimhood. The former famously claimed that victims revel in their victimness and that “victimhood” is a “coveted status that confers privilege,” and results in the “proliferation” of victims.

In a post called “Victimocracy is for Sociopaths,” Mark Bennett, a criminal defense attorney and blogger in Texas, growls at the “ascendancy of victimocracy, in which victimhood is esteemed above merit, and victims are given special authority to determine the course of the state.  He accuses many victims of “feigning” it.  He flaccidly stabs at some blurry claim that self-identifying victims comprise much of the purported four percent of sociopaths, revealing himself to be the one person in America gullible enough to drink Martha Stout’s pop psychology Kool-Aid.  “The more power we give victims, the more power we give sociopaths,” he says.

Attitudes like those of the grandfather, the blogger, Wills, and Bennett, shame not just the crimes, but also try to corrode any dignity the victim may have in self-identifying as such, creating false categories that attempt to separate out the “true” victims from the “feigning” ones.  (Anybody else hearing the echoes of Todd Akin here and his marble mouthing about “legitimate” rape?)  These people take offense to persons stepping up and saying, “Hey, I was harmed,” acting as though the V-word itself is a diminishing resource, conservation of which they must personally defend. And so what do they do?  They engage in ad hominem attacks to discredit the victim:  she was complicit in it, is lying, doing it for the attention, is a sociopath.  It’s as if some defense attorneys, perhaps as a group the most vocal about they would call “victomania,” can’t zealously represent their clients while respecting the “victim” concept.

Here’s the post she’s referring to, Victimocracy is For Sociopaths.2 I won’t rehash the argument, but you’ll see that it’s not what Goldberg wishes it to be.

Because some victims bravely speak up,3 Goldberg wants us not to question whether victims are victims.

The problem is that, whether sociopaths are four percent of the population or one percent or less, they will feign victimhood, using our solicitousness toward victims—the solicitousness modeled by Goldberg in her post—to get away with creating more actual victims. By feigning victimhood, the sociopaths (who, because their “victimhood” is planned and scripted, are more willing than real victims to present themselves as victims) also harm the actual victims

The solution is nothing more than a sensible skepticism. Opposing skepticism is natural—nothing is more laudable than protecting the weak, and we want to believe that those who present themselves as needing our help in fact do—but nobody’s life is improved by credulity.

  1. And cousin of my officemate Jay Cohen! 

  2. For which I’ve already taken an undeserved ration of shit, which put me off my blogging feed. Other posts about victimocracy in action: Honoring the Dead with Destruction?; Happy Victims’ Week; Revenge Porn and “Rape Culture” Culture

  3. I doubt neither the bravery often required for an actual victim to come out as a victim, nor the societal value in doing so. 

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Where Improv and Lawyering Meet

I’ve started taking improvisational theater classes again, now at The Station Theater, about halfway between my house and my downtown office. (I took classes at ComedySportz and at Bay Area Theater Sports several years ago, but neither theater is as convenient as The Station.) One of the perks of taking classes at The Station is free admission to shows at the theater. So I’ll be seeing, as well as doing more improv.

Last night Jen and I went to the show by Nice Astronaut, a visiting troupe from Austin. At the door, I told the guy taking money that I was a student (saving me $6, cheap bastard) and introduced myself. “I know that name,” he said, “I’ve read your blog for years.”

Small world. A little birthday present from the universe.

But wait.

When we went in to choose our seats, a familiar-looking man came up to me. “Mark, I’m Brian Drake.” Brian has been a blog reader and a correspondent of mine for many years. It was a treat seeing him in this context and meeting his girlfriend, who were also there for the show.

My old friend and fellow criminal-defense lawyer Chuck Stanfield was also there, but that was unsurprising, since he is also taking classes there.

Houston is a small enough town that I can rarely go anywhere without running into someone I know. But it’s especially cool that these two worlds—law and improv—intersect. I like it that readers of this blog also being fans and students of improv, which I have found to be invaluable training for lawyering (several of my jury selection rules come out of improv) and for life.

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Stupid Lawyer-Email Disclaimer

I noticed this at the bottom of an email from a lawyer on a First Amendment civil case (he’s suing, I’m defending):


This communication and any files or attachments transmitted with it are confidential, may be legally privileged, and are intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to which they are addressed. Because this type of communication may not be secure, can be made spontaneously, and/or is frequently treated informally, I do not accept any responsibility or duty (other than that owned in the attorney-client relationship) for the contents of such communication. Simply, you are put on notice that I do not guarantee that this communication has any accuracy whatsoever;  being on such notice and for the consideration stated below, you contractually agree that I am not liable for any damage connected with this communication whether it is actual, contractual, compensatory, restitutionary, punitive, imaginary, etc. Make a formal request in writing via certified mail to the above address if this communication needs to be verified. Please notify me immediately if you have received this communication by mistake and delete it from your system. If you are not the intended recipient you are notified that altering, disclosing, copying, distributing, or taking any action in reliance on the contents of this communication is strictly prohibited and may be a criminal offense. If you are the intended recipient or receive this communication intentionally by the intended recipient, subject to Texas Rule of Evidence (including rule 408) you are granted express consent to disclose, copy, and/or distribute this communication. In return, you agree to not alter it, for example, by removing any of these disclaimers. In violation thereof, you agree to (1) be personally liable for a minimal of $15,000 in liquidated damages, reasonable attorney fees, and court costs in collecting these damages; and (2) Texas being the appropriate jurisdiction, that its laws prevail, and Harris County being the appropriate venue. The Internal Revenue Service rules require that I advise you that the tax advice, if any, contained in this message was not intended or written to be used by you, and cannot be used by you, for the purposes of (1) avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code; or (2) promoting, marketing or recommending to an other party any transaction or matter addressed herein.

Pretentious civil-lawyer stupidity makes my brain hurt.

(See also.)

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Programming Note

The original version of this post included two lawyers who had cried “victim.” I identified neither; only a very small group (six people) knew who both were; those six already knew my opinion.

While I had not identified him and had explicitly disclaimed calling him a sociopath (he has mental-health problems, but they undisputably do not include a lack of conscience), one of them recognized himself and incorrectly concluded that I was calling him a sociopath. When he nagged me about it, in the interest of peace I very reluctantly took the unprecedented step of removing the reference to him—the other example of victim-stance behavior was sufficient.

Unfortunately, he took my gesture of peace as a sign of weakness, and began publicly demanding a public apology (after privately threatening violence, motherfucking me, and frightening my office staff). He then also appointed himself defender of the other lawyer’s honor. In paroxysms of impotent rage he lashed out on Twitter and in comments here.

I removed his comments here because I didn’t think his name needed to be connected to this post; I have since vacillated on that, and on whether to restore the original text. Republishing this lawyer’s words is the worst thing that I can imagine doing to him—sometimes people sabotage themselves, often without knowing it; it’s not my job to help them.

Instead I’ve cut off contact with him, following Rule One. I have blocked his Twitter account and killfiled his emails—extreme and rare action that I only take for those who are a persistent net negative in my life.

If he continues to insist on injecting himself into my existence, I may have to find a different tack.

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